I was asked by my mentor: “How is your relationship with nature going?” She knew that it had not been as strong as it once was. I would describe it like this:
Nature is an old friend who keeps calling me. I keep meaning to call her back, but "things" keep distracting me and I never call. And then I have gone so long without calling that I am embarrassed to reach out. All the while, she sits there, waiting for me.
Wednesday, I needed her more than ever. My day was packed with meetings, classes, clients, yard work and laundry. Why did I try to jam it all into one day? I have no idea. The universe took care of me by having 3 of my engagements either cancelled or postponed. Yet, I still had an underlying anxiety.
Did I pack enough for 5 days? Did I pack the present for my nephew? Did I really bring the right dress for a confirmation? Is there anything in the fridge that will go bad? I should triple check. Are my guinea pigs going to be ok without me? I will miss their little squeaks at 7:30am. Does Sydney have everything she needs? I wanted to leave by 7:30 and now it’s 8:15. I am shaking. There is no reason to be stressed, really. I keep telling myself “All is well. There’s no rush. You’ll get there when you get there. Dad will take care of the guinea pigs. They love him. You can buy a new dress if you need one. In fact, you can buy anything that you forgot. Breathe, honey. It’s all ok.”
We start driving. Sydney asks, “Would a shoulder rub feel good right now? A head rub?” And she rubs my shoulder to see if it would feel good. It does. She rubs my head. I start to relax. By the time we hit the Mass Pike, my breathing is back to normal. NOW I can hear nature calling me. As we get closer and closer to the farm, her voice gets louder and louder. “I missed you! Come sit with me! We have so much to catch up on!”
When we arrived at mom’s house, my cousin asked me what the best part of my day was. I replied, “This. This is the best part of my day. Right here. Right now.” As I looked up to the sky, all I could see were stars. Lots and lots of stars! I was home. When I woke up, I walked around the land. I had to laugh at how long it took me to return the call. I thanked her for waiting for me. I apologized for not returning her numerous calls. And then I thanked myself for showing up.
How’s your relationship with nature going today?
Are you feeling somewhat disconnected? Go outside. Connecting with nature is connecting with self. And if you ever need a reminder that you are worth the time, I am here for you.